Lately, being an Asian drama fan I deeply enjoyed watching a lot of Korean and Japanese dramas-especially the ones based on contract marriages or arranged marriages or marriages like the one in "what happens in Vegas" movie. I was stunned to see how every time the married couple ends up falling in love with each other. Perhaps, it was just one of my ways to console myself on how my parents might get me, married in an arranged way some day and it will work out. It was really funny how they were people out of different communities or the same torturing or teasing each other each day, end up falling in love with each other.
Is this how we came up to conclusion of good girls falling in love with bad boys?
Is this how we came up to conclusion of good girls falling in love with bad boys?
This was totally fun until I compared it with a psychological concept I came across known as the Stockholm Syndrome. As stated in Wikipedia Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
The first encounter of me with this term was when I watched the Bollywood movie "Highway". Where people ended up confusing the strange feelings between the kidnapper and victim in the movie as love, which was rather an eminent example of the Stockholm syndrome. While you may compare this scenario with the Hollywood movie called "Room". Where the urge to escape the captivity of the captor in the victim remains. In both cases the victim is a woman, but the reaction is different. It is funny how our own brain and emotion amazes us. So I ended up thinking on the lines where a marriage born out of force may tend to succeed not because of love, but rather because of Stockholm syndrome.
If you really don't come from this kind of culture you may or may not really understand what I am trying to convey. I am not comparing marriage for love and marriage for money. I am talking about a marriage without choice. A marriage where you need to work it out because of family pressure, financial issues or some other reason born in the environment.
From the days of spring, I have been lectured by my Indian parents about how arranged marriages are the best. They say the families from both the sides keep making efforts to make the marriage successful. So, if you choose to go for love marriage, no one will be responsible and the burden of it not working out will all be on you.
The funny thing is that they also say that marriage is happiness and so one must marry at the right age. Then, why not marry Mr. right? Mr. right?
From memories of spring I remember how one arranged marriage was made to work. The husband would beat up his wife after getting drunk, so much that she was hospitalized. One day he sent her to her parents' house with a lot bruises telling her to never come back. So the wife's parents to set the husband on the right track beat him up and sent the daughter and son-in-law home. They lived happily ever after.
Not funny right?
If one was rational they should have gotten them a divorce. But, why did it become so hard until this point? The answer is because of submission. It was okay for her now to get beaten. The marriage must work. She got married out of family pressure. Lived that life because of her abuser that is her husband and continued living it because again from the pressure of her family. She was captive for life.
I don't say the sufferer is always a woman. Let me tell you another tale. A family arranged their son's marriage to a rich family girl for the greed of a huge dowry. They got the money, but after the marriage she would often cheat on him, but he was made to keep quiet.
So, they lived happily ever after. Right?
What's a marriage without love and trust? Are they really in love or is it because they have lost mentally and physically? What do you think?
This was totally fun until I compared it with a psychological concept I came across known as the Stockholm Syndrome. As stated in Wikipedia Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
The first encounter of me with this term was when I watched the Bollywood movie "Highway". Where people ended up confusing the strange feelings between the kidnapper and victim in the movie as love, which was rather an eminent example of the Stockholm syndrome. While you may compare this scenario with the Hollywood movie called "Room". Where the urge to escape the captivity of the captor in the victim remains. In both cases the victim is a woman, but the reaction is different. It is funny how our own brain and emotion amazes us. So I ended up thinking on the lines where a marriage born out of force may tend to succeed not because of love, but rather because of Stockholm syndrome.
If you really don't come from this kind of culture you may or may not really understand what I am trying to convey. I am not comparing marriage for love and marriage for money. I am talking about a marriage without choice. A marriage where you need to work it out because of family pressure, financial issues or some other reason born in the environment.
From the days of spring, I have been lectured by my Indian parents about how arranged marriages are the best. They say the families from both the sides keep making efforts to make the marriage successful. So, if you choose to go for love marriage, no one will be responsible and the burden of it not working out will all be on you.
The funny thing is that they also say that marriage is happiness and so one must marry at the right age. Then, why not marry Mr. right? Mr. right?
From memories of spring I remember how one arranged marriage was made to work. The husband would beat up his wife after getting drunk, so much that she was hospitalized. One day he sent her to her parents' house with a lot bruises telling her to never come back. So the wife's parents to set the husband on the right track beat him up and sent the daughter and son-in-law home. They lived happily ever after.
Not funny right?
If one was rational they should have gotten them a divorce. But, why did it become so hard until this point? The answer is because of submission. It was okay for her now to get beaten. The marriage must work. She got married out of family pressure. Lived that life because of her abuser that is her husband and continued living it because again from the pressure of her family. She was captive for life.
I don't say the sufferer is always a woman. Let me tell you another tale. A family arranged their son's marriage to a rich family girl for the greed of a huge dowry. They got the money, but after the marriage she would often cheat on him, but he was made to keep quiet.
So, they lived happily ever after. Right?
What's a marriage without love and trust? Are they really in love or is it because they have lost mentally and physically? What do you think?
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