Today, I was filled up with mixed feelings. My middle school bully and I met again when I started going to college. She and I were now in the same university and she was also in one of the elite colleges like me. When she sent me a friend request on Facebook, without much thought I accepted it. I thought it was about time to let all those hard feelings go.
But, you know what, when I chatted with her I realized that I was the only one carrying those harsh memories over the years. She didn't care nor was she ever apologetic to what she had done to me over those years. Do you know why? Because she had no guilt, no realization that it was wrong.
When she transferred out during the last year of middle school, i was the happiest person on earth. Those bad days were coming to an end and I could be who I really was. It was really a struggle in high school to get my lost confidence back. So, when I saw her again, I was a bit shaken. Why? Why again? I would keep thinking. So, I thought maybe this was an opportunity given to me. I wanted to confront her, I wanted answers. This was the only way I could totally overcome my weaknesses. But, guess what, how can I fight back when she hardly remembers the wounds she had left me.
But, today I saw a post on her Facebook wall. She got placed as a journalist into one of the top most newspapers of the country. I don't say I was jealous. It's like the bully in school becoming a teacher and telling future students not to bully. What kind of future will the country hold is what it made me think.
Now that she is going to be a journalist, maybe someday she will cover a similar story. Will it bring a change of heart? Will she be ever able to understand the pain? Will the stories she covers be the total truth?
Then I started looking back. Today where I stand she is more successful than me. So, was it my fault that I was bullied by her over those years? Was I really a loser? All those thoughts left me with dire feelings.
Well I say, why do I even care? Why am I still holding on to everything that was in the past. So, I came across the saying "Success is the best revenge". Yeah, right now she is more successful than me, but someday she might be struggling to get an interview from me. I could that much successful.
But, again why is she my driving force? Why revenge, when she won't be able to ever realize it. All I'll ever be able to make her is jealous. But, will I be then happy?
Today with these mixed feelings i realize is, when I'll be truly happy then these things won't affect me. Be it I am happy eating my favorite dish in a restaurant or doing my dream job. Money and fame shouldn't be my goal, but happiness should be.
Maybe even years later she wouldn't be able to understand my happiness and she may even look down on me or admire me, but it shouldn't matter to me. All that matters is my happiness and happiness of the people who really care about me.
Who needs revenge?
But, you know what, when I chatted with her I realized that I was the only one carrying those harsh memories over the years. She didn't care nor was she ever apologetic to what she had done to me over those years. Do you know why? Because she had no guilt, no realization that it was wrong.
When she transferred out during the last year of middle school, i was the happiest person on earth. Those bad days were coming to an end and I could be who I really was. It was really a struggle in high school to get my lost confidence back. So, when I saw her again, I was a bit shaken. Why? Why again? I would keep thinking. So, I thought maybe this was an opportunity given to me. I wanted to confront her, I wanted answers. This was the only way I could totally overcome my weaknesses. But, guess what, how can I fight back when she hardly remembers the wounds she had left me.
But, today I saw a post on her Facebook wall. She got placed as a journalist into one of the top most newspapers of the country. I don't say I was jealous. It's like the bully in school becoming a teacher and telling future students not to bully. What kind of future will the country hold is what it made me think.
Now that she is going to be a journalist, maybe someday she will cover a similar story. Will it bring a change of heart? Will she be ever able to understand the pain? Will the stories she covers be the total truth?
Then I started looking back. Today where I stand she is more successful than me. So, was it my fault that I was bullied by her over those years? Was I really a loser? All those thoughts left me with dire feelings.
Well I say, why do I even care? Why am I still holding on to everything that was in the past. So, I came across the saying "Success is the best revenge". Yeah, right now she is more successful than me, but someday she might be struggling to get an interview from me. I could that much successful.
But, again why is she my driving force? Why revenge, when she won't be able to ever realize it. All I'll ever be able to make her is jealous. But, will I be then happy?
Today with these mixed feelings i realize is, when I'll be truly happy then these things won't affect me. Be it I am happy eating my favorite dish in a restaurant or doing my dream job. Money and fame shouldn't be my goal, but happiness should be.
Maybe even years later she wouldn't be able to understand my happiness and she may even look down on me or admire me, but it shouldn't matter to me. All that matters is my happiness and happiness of the people who really care about me.
Who needs revenge?
